


How to get into College and your Best Friend's Pants

by abbeytre3



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: M/M, Post-Squip, jake has it bad, jeremy is not as straight as michael thinks he is, jeremy is waay to jealous to be a healthy functioning teenager, michael can sing!, more characters will pop up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2018-12-10 09:26:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 19,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11688765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abbeytre3/pseuds/abbeytre3
Summary: So not only is Michael hopelessly, helplessly in love with his best friend, but is is also hopelessly, helplessly not gonna make it into college by the time senior year ends.All he needs is an extracurricular, something to really make him stand out. Writing a musical wasn't supposed to make him stand out this much though, put that thing back in his OneDrive or so help him...





	1. IT'S FROM JAPAN

“So…” The school counselor looked disbelievingly at Michael, “Just how were you planning to get into college?” She glanced at her computer monitor, “Pace?”

“Well I—”

She held up a hand, “First you want to go as undeclared, that immediately puts you at a disadvantage. You have average grades, average test scores and no extracurriculars to speak of. So tell me kid. Why would they pick you?”

Michael blurted out the first thing that came to mind, “I can sing!”

She gave him a slow sarcastic clap, “Congratulations. And what have you done with it? Anything college would care about?”

The reality of his situation was starting to hit and he wrapped his arms around himself as he started to shrink into his oversized hoodie, “No. B-but I can write? And I get pretty decent grades in English?”

The counselor sighed, “Listen kid. Do something with it. Write a play, act in one, join an accapella group. I don’t care. But you have three months to do something that would make you stand out. Anything. Because right now, you don’t have a chance.” She smiled bitterly, “Have a good day!”

 

 

Michael exited the office despondently, thinking, thinking and coming up with nothing. He thought that they were there to help, but it seemed like she just hated her job. But sadly, she might be right. He had nothing.

Pulling out his phone, he started texting Christine. She knew where she was going in life. Maybe she could help… somehow.

_Christine halp._

How can I halp my Mountain Dew Man?

_College. Ugh. Halp_

Oooh. Well. What can you do.

_Write and sing. I guess. But I’ll die before accapella._

!!!!!! Write a Musical! A Musical! Nothing’s as Amazing as aMusical!

_I feel like you’re quoting something at me._

LAME

Michael crinkled his nose. The day he wrote a musical, no wait, the day he wrote a musical that was any good was the day Jeremy would fall for him. So a single player’s chance in Apocalypse of the Damned lvl nine then.

 

 

Strangely enough, at one am that morning, when all of his best ideas came, Michael found himself considering the idea.

It wouldn’t be too bad to try. Better than joining a club. It’d be so obvious that he just joined to put something on his application. And besides,… human interaction. But what about? He stared down at the Mountain Dew in his hand, mind churning.

Apocalypse of the Damned… The Musical. No! No. Definitely not.

As cool as it would be, he’d be sued off his ass. But what else did he know front and back? Well enough to write about? Jeremy, definitely. But he couldn’t write a play about his best bro.

Or could he.

The memory of Rich earlier that day shouting, “It’s a gray oblong pill!” when describing the SQUIP sucker punched him.

Michael put the Dew down and grasped blindly for his old guitar, using only the light of his monitor.

Feeling like a momentous occasion was about to occur, Michael strummed a few chords. Feeling bolder he whisper sung, “It’s a grey oblong pill.” No, make it more Rich. Feeling a burst of giddiness Michael belted, “IT’S FROM JAPAN!”

That was it.

Loud thumping on the wall startled Michael. Riiight. It’s one am and his parents were for once home. He whispered, “Sorry” and sheepishly put the guitar down.

 

 

The next morning Michael rolled over, out of his chair and onto the floor. With a confused grunt he picked himself up and looked at the daylight streaming in through his window. Well shit. He shrugged, too late to go to school now. Not like anyone will wonder where he is, he’s the super fantastical stoner slacker who can’t even get into college after all.

Glaring at his betrayal of a chair, Michael dropped back into it and looked at his word document, and set about deleting the pages upon pages of keysmashes his face must have made when it landed on the keyboard.

He only had to delete ten or so pages when he came across actual writing. Thirty pages of actual writing. Thirty pages about Halloween. Michael’s face seared in embarrassment. Did he really write all that? The pages screamed his desperation and loneliness. He decided to keep it, but… not in the script. He didn’t want anyone seeing how messed up that night made him. Saving it in a spate word document, Michael kept only five pages, the bathroom scene.

It was sad. And pathetic. He rubbed at his face, glancing at his guitar. Would making it a song lessen the loser value?

“Drives a PT Cruiser God he’s such a loser! Michael in the bathroom by himself! All by himself!” God no. It sounded, well it sounded good. But it sounded so much sadder.

“MICHAEL? Michael?”

The sound of feet pounding on the stairs made him panic and shove the guitar under his computer desk. He saved and closed the document just before Jeremy came into view.

“H-hey Jer!” Michael leaned back, trying his best to look casual.

“Michael! Were you singing?” Jeremy padded into the room, awkwardly standing in front of him.

He laughed, “What! No of course not! Just, playing music too loud. You know me! I tried accapella this time. Wanted to see what the craze was all about.”

Jeremy rubbed the back of his head, “Aha right. Well um. I just came by to drop this off. Christine’s coming by to play video games so I was trying to clean up.”

Michael forced a brittle smile as Jeremy dropped a sweatshirt off and bolted. No ‘where were you’, or, or, anything. Just gone as suddenly as he arrived. Were they even friends anymore?

And suddenly. Michael didn’t feel bad about starting the script off with Jeremy failing to get it up.

 

 


	2. THE LOUDEST ONE IS MINE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Poor oblivious Michael. And I was so excited that I updated twice in one day. Thats a miracle folks, never gonna happen again.

 

“Hey Michael!” Rich shouldered into him good naturedly, but as well intentions often do, had an adverse effect. Michael, especially a Michael who had been up all night writing, was not the steadiest on his feet. He ended up knocking into Jake, who caught him by the shoulders and set him upright. Keeping his grip, Jake looked down at Michael fondly,

“Hey there buddy. Falling for my good looks already?”

Michael sputtered. “No! Absolutely not! Just for that I’m writing you out of the play!”

“Writing me out?” A deep red crawled up Jake’s neck and _Holy crap did Michael just make Jakey D blush_ , “You’re writing a story about me?”

He blurted out, “Jeremey! It’s about Jeremy. Cause that’s not weird! I mean it’d be weirder if I wrote about you hah! I mean, we barely know each other!” Michael desperately wanted to sink into the floorboards as Jake’s face fell. This is why he didn’t do social interaction! With Jeremy it was, or used to be, pretty chill. But he just word vomited all when it was other people. Wait a minute. What was it that Jeremy always wished he could be?

_Look Michael, I just wish. Sometimes. And I know this will sound dumb. But I just want to be more c-chill. Like you!_

He doesn’t have a title yet right? And he knows it’s just a meaningless pile of about twenty-two pages and a few songs at the moment but… _Be More Chill_. It just sounded, right.

“Michael? Mikey? Mike the man?” Rich was in his face again, Jake having released Michael and gone who knows where. “Did we lose you man?”

He nervously laughed, “Sorry. Must have gotten stuck in my own head. What are we seeing again?”

Rich took a step back and craned his neck, scanning the empty room for Jake. Everything came back into focus and Michael was able to be distracted by the various movie posters and previews playing in the lobby of their hometown movie theater. After skipping school the boys had insisted on him coming out with them, down to driving over to his house and blaring the horn until he came out. He didn’t know why, but the Squip squad was trying really hard to include him, and he was well, grateful he guesses is a term for it.

Rich grinned back at him, “What are you two seeing you mean. The girls have insisted on pinkberry and I’m sorry but between this sad selection of movies and sweet treats, I’m afraid the sweetness wins!” His smiles falters, “Good luck man.”

“Good luck? Good luck with what? Rich!” Michael called after him as a laughing Rich skipped out of the theatre doors.

“Wow he took the phrase ‘skip town’ really literally.” Came from directly behind him.

In the future, Michael would deny the very off pitched shriek that escaped his throat, but for now, he was solely focused on calming his racing heart.

He turned to receive a heart skipping smile from Jake, who was cradling a large popcorn and two sodas. Jake’s smile dimmed into something softer, and much more real. Michael could feel his face reddening and oh gosh why could he not handle friendly interaction like a normal straight teenager. Curse his gay ass.

Jake shifted the tray in his hands and offered an arm to Michael, “Shall we? I got two tickets to Spiderman,” a realization seemed to dawn on him, “Only if you want to of course! We can totally pick something different, I mean you’re probably not even into Spiderman—”

Michael chuckled at the thought that Jake could be just as nervous as him, “Spiderman’s fine. I was really looking forward to Homecoming!” Then a realization hit Michael, “Hey did you buy the tickets _and_ the food? Oh man, I gotta pay you back somehow.”

Jake raised his eyebrow and his arm in invitation again, Michael laughed and took it as Jake said, “Don’t worry about it man. I’m loaded. If I can’t use it to spoil my friends then what’s the point?”

The two of them turned into the very empty theatre three and after a very lighthearted debate took the exact center seat in the middle of the rows. They made it just in time as the Marvel logo started taking up the entire screen. Flicking through previous movies and comic strips and then Michael was in love. He was so engrossed in the movie that he barely twitched when Jake exaggeratedly stretched and placed his arms on the backs of the seats around him. Michael briefly thought _Dude has long arms_ before being pulled back into the story.

 

 

After the movie, they sat in Jake’s car, munching on leftover popcorn and just talking.

“We were so excited for this movie to come out you had no idea man. And then it was like amazing and we were like well amazed!” Jake enthused, waving his arms around for dramatic effect.

Michael tilted his head as he stared at Jake questioningly. It seemed to pull him from his reverie as he stared at Michael, “Is something wrong man?”

“Uh no, I don’t think so. But, can I ask you something?”

Jake spread his arms, “I’m an open book.”

“You sometimes say we instead of I, is that a pronoun preference?”

Jake flushed, “Oh I didn’t realize that I was still doing that. Yeah, um it’s a Squip thing actually. I had a voice in my head, but now that it gone I still sometimes here something. Like, I have voices in my head, but the normal kind. We kind of make up a collective mind if that makes any sense.”

Michael considered his words. Just add a catchy tune and turn that sentence around… He sang under his breathe, “Me and those voices in my head have made up our collective mind.”

Jake leaned forward, “What do they say you should do?”

Michael bit his lip thinking what would fit next, if this was after the Squip, then it would be the last song in the musical, and… and Jeremy would be asking Christine out, despite the panging in his heart he sang what he knew came next, “I think that all of us want to go out with you.”

He smiled radiantly at Jake, “Thanks dude. I guess sometimes I need a second person to help me figure out the lyrics.”

Jake faltered, “Oh right, you were writing something,” he continued sourly, “About Jeremy.”

Michael hummed in response and then looked at the time. Barely eight o clock. He had an idea, “Hey you’ve been pretty chill this whol time and I was wondering if you maybe wanted to hang out more, maybe? Maybe even, listen to what I’ve written?” He started franticly bunching his hands up, “I mean just to tell me if its trash or not. I don’t want to finish it to be laughed at you know.” Michael hunched his shoulder. Stupid, he shouldn’t have said anything.

Jake revved the car in gear. He gushed excitedly, “I would love to. You have a great voice. Your place or mine? For the play. To listen to the play. And hang out.” He muttered, “Totally not implying anything.”

Michael looked at him strangely, what was that all about. But his parents were home so, “Probably your place. I have it on my OneDrive so I can just pull it up wherever.”

Gripping the steering wheel tightly, Jake grinned. “Cool. Cool cool cool.”

 

 


	3. Two Player Game

Michael stared in open eyed wonder at the programable keyboard set up in a spare room of Jake’s house. This wasn’t some Yamaha, it was some top of the line expensive as hell shit.  He brushed his fingers over it reverently as Jake closed the door behind him.

“This okay? No one really uses it but it should still work.”

Michael could feel a soft smile of his own settling on his face as he refused to break eye contact with the keyboard, “No” he breathed, “It’s perfect.” He turned to face Jake, “You can record sounds on it! I can record entire works on here with multiple instruments!” Michael blushed at how excited he was getting. He must look so lame.

Jake pulled out a tablet and placed it where the sheet music would go, powering it on as he went. “Let’s get this show on the road, show me what you got Mell. Now remember, I am an excellent actor so I’ll be _very_ critical.”

Michael shook his head and slammed on the keyboard, singing out loudly, “Michael makes an E _n_ t _r_ a _n_ c _e_!”

He laughed to himself and turned to Jake, who he expected to be in tears at his sad attempt at drama. Instead he was greeted with Jake sitting motionless on the bed, gaping at him. Did he do that terribly?

“Michael! That was amazing! I mean it was just a sentence! But it was amazing!” Words dropped out of his mouth before he could stop them, “You’re amazing.” Jake slapped a hand over his mouth and mumbled, “I mean continue... I would love to hear what you have so far.”

Michael shrugged and said “Yeah okay” and flipped through the pages of dialogue on the tablet. What would Jake like to hear? Maybe, no the Halloween party would hit too close to home. And besides he hardly wrote any of that song yet. But, he did have another one finished. “Hey Jake?”

“Yeah man?”

“You want to hear something sad and pathetic?”

Jake smiled sadly, “If it’s from you I’m sure its soulful and sad but never pathetic. You’re one of the best people I know.”

Michael was sure that if his face was any warmer that he’d be on fire, with a warble in his voice he began, “I’m a creeper in a bathroom, because my buddy kinda left me alone. I could stay right here or disappear, and nobody’d even notice at all…”

 

He came back to the present slowly when Jake was wrapping a fluffy comforter around him. The larger man was tucking the blanket in around him while looking at him with wavering glistening eyes. “T-that was at my party right? I’m so sorry you ever felt like that. If, if anything like this ever happens you know you can call me right?”

Michael blinked the tear in his eye away, “Oh-okay. But, how did it sound?”

“You’re gonna blow them all away.” Jake stepped back and Michael found himself missing his presence. “But for now, I think we can just chill and play video games maybe? You’ve torn my heart out enough times in one day.”

Turns out, Jake may not play Apocalypse of the Damned, but he owned the most complete Harvest Moon collection Michael had ever laid eyes on.

 

 

For once on a Thursday night, Michael was not sequestered in his basement, mindlessly killing zombies and wondering how it all went wrong. Instead, he was… comfortable. And not hating himself, picking apart every bit of him to see what wasn’t enough.

He was still wrapped in the fluffiest comforter in existence, nestled in the pile of pillows that made up Jake’s bed. Jake looked up from setting up the GameCube and gave him a grin, tossing him a bright blue controller and taking a red one for himself. “Hey you’re always Player 1 right? I’m warning you though, even with being your Player 2, there is no minigame that I don’t have a high score on.”

Michael bit back the response that Jeremy was his Player 2 before just biting his lip and nodding. He wasn’t, not anymore. Christine was his Player 1 now he guesses.

Once Jake was situated next to him, they fell into an easy rhythm of picking the game every other turn and apparently Jake was not lying when he said how good he was at the games. For a man who looked like he spent his whole life on the field, he was nifty with a controller. Once he got the hang of it though, Michael thought he was pretty decent also.

“Life’s pretty effed up hey man?”

Michael tore his concentration from mining and looked at Jake from the corner of his eye. The other man still hadn’t taken his eyes from the screen but his hands were gripping the controller something fierce.

He sighed in response, “If you leave your brother behind it’s lame, because it’s an effed up world but it’s a two player game.”

Jake paused the game and turned to fully face Michael, “What’s that from?”

“It’s just, a thing me and Jeremy used to say. When it was the two of us against, well, all of you.”

Jake frowned in concentration before asking, “Michael Mell will you sit with us at lunch?”

Michael tilted his head, “I do?”

Jake shook his head, “No you don’t. You sit as far away from us as possible while being at the same table and always have your head down, like your expecting us to tell you to leave. I want you to sit with me, us, and maybe we could talk during school?”

“I-I guess I could try. I just don’t feel like I belong, you know, different expierences and all.” Michael looked away but Jake put his hand on his cheek and made eye contact again,

“You went through more than any of us. We were squipped for like what, an hour? We had this malicious little voice in our brain that was louder for less than a day. And you saved us. But here’s the thing, I bet you have a much louder voice in there that’s a lot more destructive. And I bet it’s been tearing you down for a lot longer than just an hour. This isn’t a competition of hurt, but if it was, I bet you’d win.”

“Oh”

And then Jake leaned forward and kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this is eventually a boyf riends fic. But Jeremy's an ass right now, and they both have to learn them some things.


	4. Everything about you is just terrible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jakey D is too pure for this world

As Jake’s lips moved against his own, Michael’s brain short circuited. Wait, if he hated himself, was that similar to how Jeremy hated himself? At least when he got the squip? Could he use his own insecurities to write that scene? He had to talk to Rich.

Jake pulled back nervously and Michael came out of his head, oh right. There was kissing going on. He wrestled his arms out of his comforter burrito and took Jake’s hand. “Alright. You have my attention. What do you need from me?”

Jake sputtered, “Um what?”

“I must have been in my head or something if you had to get my attention. What do you need?”

“You think I kissed you because I needed something from you? Is that what _Jeremy_ does?”

Michael looked at him like he was stupid, “Uh yeah. Facial stimulation is supposedly the best way to get attention. I get pretty into my head sometimes.”

Jake stuffed his face in a pillow and let out a short muffled scream, “Michael, how many friends did you have before the whole squip incident? Not including him?”

“Uh none?”

“So Jeremy was your only human socialization for twelve years.”

“Wow it is really sad when you put it like that. So um yes?”

Jake took both of Michael’s hands and tugged him a bit forward, “Mikey Mikey Mikey. Regular friends do not kiss just to get each others attention. Boyfriends do that, not best bros.”

Michael took one hand back and pointed it accusingly at Jake, “You don’t kiss Rich?”

“No. But I kissed Chloe when we were _dating_.”

“Huh. Ew.”

Jake shifted, “Ew to the dating me thing, or the girl thing?”

“Ew to the Chloe thing. She kissed me once and it was way too sticky. Like she’s… nice, and all, but I think she uses too much lip gloss.”

His eyes widened impossibly large, “Chloe _kissed_ you?”

“Yeah, I told you that—”

“Oh my god you are hopeless hopeless. Helpless helpless.”

Jake released Michael and took his face in his hands, leaning closer until his lips settled over Michael’s again. This time Michael didn’t feel anything platonic about the kiss. Jake was slightly aggressive, but still soft, moving until Michael started to respond, then sliding his hands back into Michael’s hair. He _liked_ that. No one had ever done _that_ before. Jake took Michael’s bottom lip between his teeth and Michael surged forward out of his cocoon and grasped onto the front of Jake’s shirt. Jake paused running his fingers through Michael’s hair and he _whined,_ with a smirk that he could feel down to his toes, Jake lifted Michael up, _strong_ , and Michael pulled back and _holy crap he was straddling a guy. He was straddling Jakey D! The maybe not straightest guy in school?_

Jake looked up at Michael for once and grinned lazily, eyes still dazed. Michael felt like he had run a marathon, having forgotten to breath the entire time.

“So will you?”

Michael’s mouth hung open, “uh, I-I, will I what?”

“Hang out with me-us, at lunch. And maybe, will you let me take you out again?”

Suddenly nervous, Michael looked down, fiddling with the strings of his hoodie until Jake coerced,

“If you go out with me, we can kiss more.”

Damn his raging hormones, but that was better than beating level nine the Cafetorium, “Hell yes!” Wait was that too desperate?

Apparently not, judging by the dopey gin on Jake’s face. “Cool. Cool cool cool. So um school tomorrow, that’ll be cool.”

 

 

It was not cool. And Michael wanted to die. Jake had picked him up that morning with that same dopey grin and Michael just couldn’t say no. Now he desperately wished that he han. Jake carried his backpack and held his hand and was acting tooth rottingly sweet and Michael wanted to sink into the floorboards. Everywhere they went, because Jake had a lot of friends and they had to make the rounds, whispers followed and Michaels self doubt didn’t so much flare up as self combust. He could hear a voice shouting at him, _Now look what you’ve done_ , and it was right. He was just dragging Jake back. Who was he to think that he could even stand next to this guy? Why was he being so nice? Did he just feel sorry for the lonely stoner kid?!

And then suddenly, in the middle of a rant the voice cut off. Michael slammed into Jake’s shoulder, as forces in motion continue unless stopped and he didn’t even realize that his eyes were watering until Jake was there hugging him in the middle of the hall and whispering about how it would all be okay, the whispers would die down, if this was too much just tell him.

Michael stopped burying his head into Jake’s sweatshirt and looked up at him. This time it was him who initiated the kiss. It didn’t even dawn on him that they were in the middle of the hallway until a voice, shouted out, breaking in the middle of the word,

“MICHAEL?”

And Michael felt his heart climb out through his throat when he saw Jeremy across the hall, face in a look of pure agony, as he was holding hands with Christine frickin Canigula.

Michael pulled away from Jake and took his backpack with a soft, “I’ll see you at lunch,” and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, shouldering past Jeremy without a glance. He didn’t look back once, or twice. He definitely didn’t look back a third time to see Jeremy still frozen in place.

It was almost homeroom time after all and Michael had to see Rich about a Squip.


	5. The Groove is Hella Gnarly

Unfortunately, between Michael’s small breakdown, that he was having far too often to be comfortable with, and trying to avoid Jeremy, the homeroom bell rang before Rich was to be seen. HE settled down in his seat in the back of class and pulled his headphones on sullenly. Jeremy had seemed… disgruntled. What, did he think that Michael was only allowed to have one friend?! With the way Jeremy was avoiding him, maybe he thought that Michael deserved no friends. Maybe he should just be alone. No one can hurt you if you’re alone, but then, no one cares if you’re hurt.

A text pinged from Christine on his phone, echoing through his headphones, and knocking him out of the downward spiral.

DID YOU DO IT?

Michael chocked. There’s no way that she thought that him and Jake, Jake and him…

_DO what?_

The musical silly!! 

_Oh. Yah._

OMFG *incoherent screaming* We’ll make a theatre boy out of you yet

Michael put his head down on his desk as his phone continued pinging with word jumbles from Christine, who was too excited to type actual words. As he shuffled out of homeroom, he scrolled through the barrage of nonsense until on innocent text at the end caught his attention,

Congrats by the way, you two are totes adorbs

 

 

Lunch rolled around with no sign of Rich and Michael was beginning to feel disgruntled. He just, just needed to know how intense the activating of the Squip was. How was he supposed to write the Squip enters if he wasn’t there for anyone activating it?!

He slumped into his regular seat and started to, oh wait, he didn’t bring any lunch today did he? Groaning internally, Michael started planning his sev-eleven run after school. No, he didn’t drive to school today, would Jake run him to the convenience store, does Jake even like slushies?

Michael came back to the cafeteria when he felt a way too familiar body enter his personal space. Jeremy pulled back with a smirk that looked out of place on his face, it looked, Squiped.

The feeling went away when it melted into a concerned smile and Jeremy asked, “Hey you okay? You’re gonna break your phone if you do that and space out.”

Oh right, Michael had the bad habit of using his phone as a fidget spinner when he was nervous. He stopped the spinning with a tap just before it tipped over the edge of the table.

The sound of creaking plastic made Michael shoot his head up and he locked eyes with Jake, who was standing just before the table, as frozen as David. In his hand was a seven eleven bag and a slushie, a slushie that was dangerously close to breaking through the plastic and ending up on the floor from the grip Jake had on it.  

Michael tilted his head confused, Jake seemed to confuse him a lot. Christine was giggling cheerfully, her whole face red, and Brooke and Chloe had teamed up to whisper to Jeremy furiously. Michael got out of his seat and walked over to Jake, gingerly saving to food from his grasp. Then he tilted Jake’s head to look him in the eye and asked,

“What’s wrong?”

Jake bit the inside of his cheek and muttered, “Nothing. Rich is sick if you were looking for him.” Then a bit louder, and looking at Michael fondly, “I got you a slushie. And some sushi if you want.”

This man was too good, Michael couldn’t help but reach up and brush a kiss on Jake, ignoring the dying whale noises behind him, Jeremy would just have to learn to share his friends.

Then a lyric hit him, smacked him right upside his head, the one he had been missing, his part in the opening song. Taking Jake’s hand and pulling him to the table Michael sang at him, “Had my sushi, got my slushy and more! The roll was megi-maki and I'm feelin' kinda cocky, 'Cos the girl at Sev' Elev' gave me a generous pour!”

While Jake sat dazed, Jeremy leaned over and basically accused, “You sing?”

Feeling defensive, _maybe he did Jeremy!_ , Michael denied, “Nah. Just happy about my sushi, you know how it is.” 

 

 

As he was leaving the cafeteria, Christine grabbed his arm and dragged him into the girls bathroom. Feeling supremely uncomfortable faced with five foot two of adrenaline, Michael shifted on his feet before asking, “What—”

Christine cut him off, “I just wanted to start this off by saying that I’m not mad that Jeremy kissed you. It was rather adorable,” She dropped her voice menacingly, “And I will do anything for adorableness!” Before being cheerful again, “But more importantly, your musical! I heard you sing to Jake, totes adorable! You gotta figure your boy harem out, but what are you doing about your musical?!”

Why could nobody talk straight? “W-what? I’m going to write it then it’s done right?”

Christine snorted, “No silly! You’re doing this to get into college right! They’re not going to care about a piece of paper! You gotta do something with it! I’m sure we could convince Mr. Reyes to do something, or- or send it out to production companies!”

Michael paled, he felt sick, “Y-you mean people have to see it!”

She nodded, “Yes, but that comes later. I know you can sing, I’m sure if you put your mind to it you can act, but so you think you can dance?! If it’s a musical you gotta choreograph stuff!” Christine started singing and moving her hips and was she okay?  “Feel that fascinating rhythm moving to your feet. Feel your ass gyrating to that titillating beat!”

Oh. “You’re quoting something at me again and I still don’t get it.”

Christine sighed and starting pushing him out the door, “I’m just not appreciated here. Talk to Brooke! She wants to be a dance major!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes Michael, people will see your play, first the school, ...then the world!


	6. Pinkberry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, Jeremy's not straight? Alert the presses. Alert... Michael. Get it through his denial.

 

_Michael rocked back and forth, hugging his knees to his chest as he heaved great ugly breaths, sobbing silently. The murmur of the crowd outside ramped up his anxiety, surely someone would come knocking on the door any minute now and find him, the human disaster that he was. Why would Jeremy? He promised that he never would—he promised! And now he was all alone again, but this time he couldn’t see a way out. This was not how senior year was supposed to go._

 

As soon as class let out for the day, Michael fell into step beside Brooke and Chloe, the two of the group he hung out with the least. Brooke took one look at who had appeared, gasped, and pulled one of his arms close to herself. Chloe took the cue and captured Michael’s other arm, both towing Michael as quickly as possible out of the school and into the relative privacy of Brooke’s car.

She smiled at him, “Do you want a ride in my mother’s car?” Then laughed, “Sorry! No choice!”

Chloe locked the all of the doors with the click of a button and both of the girls turned in their seats to face Michael, who shuddered at their creepy synchonity.

“So,” Brooke began,

“What now?” Chloe finished.

Michael stuttered out something incomprehensible and Brooke tossed her hair sighing, “hopeless…”

She started, trying to lead him into a conversation, “There’s three things you need to do,”

Chloe demanded, “Number one!”

“Um, get into college, hopefully Pace.”

“Number two!”

Brooke chimed in, “And number three while you’re at it!”

“Finish the musical and have a good senior year?”

Brooke and Chloe looked at each other, disgusted. Michael shrank back, not sure what he had said wrong.

Chloe took the lead, as always, “The musical is part of getting into college! If you don’t finish it, you’re not getting in! Listen buddy,” She pointed accusingly at him and Michael was wondering how well his sweatshirt would protect him if he shattered the window to escape, she continued, glaring as if she heard his thoughts, “You need to get Jeremy to put up or shut up. The strangled dolphin noises he was making at lunch today was so annoying I wanted to claw my own eardrums out.”

Michael blanched, “No you don’t understand! He’s just kind of possessive, but he’s with Christine, straight, and anyways there’s no way that boy would like me, he can barely stand to be around me” The last part finished in a whisper.

Brooke bashed her head against the leather head rest in frustration, “He _kissed you_ at lunch today!”

Michael didn’t understand why people were always making such a big deal about that, it’s what friends did, “And?”

Brooke nearly shouted, “Completely straight people don’t do that!”

Chloe put a comforting manicured hand on Brooke’s shoulder, “Number three you need to find out for yourself. It’s always good to have three goals. We are going to help you hammer out a plan of action before you leave this car. If we let you do you, Jeremy will have a jealous aneurism, the play will be finished and grow dusty and you will never learn some swinging dance moves. And about Jake, you could actually make him pretty happy just by being yourself, but I guarantee that these nervous breakdowns won’t stop just from having a boyfriend. You really need to talk to someone dude.”

Brooke sniffled, “Yeah that song was seriously messed up. I cried.” Still sniffling she turned around in her seat and started the engine, it purred and began rolling away from the school.

Michael felt like he knew exactly what they were talking about but the lead weight in his gut made him ask, “W-what song? I’ve only sung to… Jake.”

Chloe shrugged, “Oh the one about your panic attack at Halloween.” She inspected her nails as Michael felt his throat start to close up, “Jake thought that you were so adorable when you sang that he recorded you and sent it to Rich to gush. Rich was… coerced to show the video to us.” She stated nonchalantly, “It was heart-wrenching.”

Michael grasped at his sweatshirt, trying to calm his racing heart as suddenly the car seemed much too small and the air much too hot, Chloe looked up in time to see him scrabling with the window controls in the attempt to let in fresh air.

“Michael. Michael you have to get used to people talking about the song. It’s going to be one of the best in the musical, and thus people are going to want to tear it apart. If you can’t handle us talking about it, how are you going to preform it?”

Michael sank down in his seat exhausted, and he caught Brooke looking through the rear view worriedly at him, “Please don’t be too upset, we just really want to help you and I know we didn’t go about it the right way, but you need help and we want to be there for you. We’re actually,” She looked nervously at Chloe, “actually on the way to the gym right now. They have studios we can rent out and I thought we could practice?”

His racing heart starting to calm to a slow tempo, he nodded, tired from the sudden heights of emotion, “I guess… that’s fine.” Then he started to feel warm, not an uncomfortable panicky heat he was feeling earlier, but a warm comfortable sensation that took the frost bite from his touch starved hands. Someone wanted to help him, multiple someones. And he did not like that he was being recorded, but it happened because someone was proud of him? They would have to talk about boundaries but… for the first time in a long time, in a movement that seemed to bring out the sun, Michael grinned to himself, in the backseat of Brooke’s mother’s car, on the way to learn to dance, with two people he was quite sure of now, were… friends.

 


	7. My Bro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be a million times funnier if you've seen George sing the bro duet. Finally, a not sad chapter!

The dancing didn’t start off as terribly as Michael thought it may. That’s not to say it didn’t start out rough, it took the combined forces of Brooke and Chloe distracting and tugging to rid him of his hoodie. Brooke gaped openly at his forearms.

“Damn dude, I want to lick your biceps.”

Michael desperately tried to get his hoodie back but Brooke was blocking him and Chloe was already stuffing it into a locker, “Um what?”

Chloe looked over, then did a double take and slammed the locker door shut, coming close enough to squeeze his forearm, she said in a mystified voice, “They’re real.” She glared at him, “You smoke weed and play shitty video games, how are they real?”

Michael closed his eyes and took a deep breath, thinking of memes and trying not to implode. He really, really, didn’t want to say that he had been working out so that Jeremy would have something to look at, if he wanted to look. That ever since eighth grade he had kept a set of weights underneath a digimon plush blanket in his basement. That he let Jeremy think he was whackin it because he was so sweaty the one time his best friend almost caught him working out. He slowly threw the words out, “I, um, have a summer job? They have me lifting a lot of things?”

“You lift things up and put them down Mell?” Chloe raised a perfect eyebrow in disbelief and then shrugged her shoulders as if she suddenly decided that she didn’t care and turned to the stereo laying in the back of the room.

Brooke stopped gawking at his arms for a minute to reach his eyes, “Hey Michael. I know that you always say no, but now that you’re with Jake, maybe we can convince you? The whole squad’s going to karaoke tonight and we would really really like you to come.” She whispered to him, “Also if you ever feel uncomfortably hot, feel free to take off your shirt. We won’t stare. Much.” She winked.

Michael blanched as Chloe called out from the back, “Yeah you can even serenade your boytoy while you’re at it!”

Was it bad that Michael didn’t even know which boy she was referencing then?

Brooke pulled out her Iphone and let him think it over as she scrolled through pages of sheet music. She showed him one and he immediately recognized it, “Wah, how did you get the melody to the finale?”

Chloe popped her head over his shoulder, “Ooh firm. And you left your OneDrive open at Jake’s. I live next door to his new place and his wifi isn’t the most secure in the world, so… easy peasy.”

Brooke made apologetic eyes at him, “She kinda has a thing going on with computers.”

Michael hunched his shoulders, accidently dislodging Chloe, at how easily his friends seemed to run over him. He just wasn’t a strong enough personality to compete.

He nearly swallowed his tongue when a shoulder rammed into his back, “Stop thinking self-depreciating thoughts! If you want to say something say it! We’ll tell you when you need to apologize! Are you coming with us or not?!”

He chocked out, “Yeah, okay.”

His voice warbled a bit as he sang, and completely cut out every time Brooke bodily moved him into a different position, but they made it through a rendition of the song. The girls insisted on singing their parts, despite Chloe being terribly off key, and Brooke furiously whispering the words as she stepped in time, but their allotted hour passed, and Michael now had some idea of how to precede. As they pushed him into the car, his hoodie back in its rightful place, Michael’s stomach dropped.

The whole squad, Jeremy was going to be there. 

 

 

As the miles flew by, and they approached closer to the destined meeting place, Michale’s thumbs flew as he texted with Jeremy, who surprisingly, texted back.

_Ur going to Karaoke?_

**Yeah dude.**

**Wait ur coming??????**

_Combined forces of Pinkberry. Kidnapped, pay my ransom_

**Will do bro, id give up my shiny Charizard for u**

**Maybe**

_I feel the love_

**Why u need to know? Squads there im there**

_I want to sing with u_

**I haven’t sung since 7 th grade dude**

**They nvr get me up there**

_Seventh grade, talent show. Sir dicksalot entrd us as the gay duo_

**I remember**

**I died that day**

**Wait u**

**Mean**

_Yeah bro duet u me lets go_

Brooke sang out, “We’re here!” making Michael shove his phone in his pocket hurriedly and practically leap out of the car. As graceful as she was on land, behind the wheel, well, Michael sure hoped his life insurance paid out well.

 

 

Brooke and Chloe made their entrance into the building, as the squad cheered for them as soon as they entered, Rich shouting out, “And so they arrive, alive! And missing absolutely no limbs!”

Michael slunk in behind them and was about to slump down in a seat when he realized, wait, Jeremy is chickenshit. If he didn’t force that boy up there now, at the beginning before he was completely intimidated, there would be no prying this boy out from under the table.

Forcing a grin he approached Jeremy, his best-friend(?). “Hey Jer, what you say me and you go hit the mics, right now.”

Jeremy looked in all possible directions before settling on Michael, “Um, yeah. Sure.” He placed a quick kiss on Christine’s cheek before getting up to follow Michael. No matter how many times he watches, or how happy he is for Jeremy to get the girl of his dreams, it still feels like being punched in the gut. _Shut up Michael, you have no right to be jealous._

Michael bystepped the preprogrammed machine and went straight for the keyboard. Jeremy adjusted his microphone for him and then picked one for himself, situating himself so that he could make direct eye contact with Michael the whole damn time.

He looked up once he was ready and took a deep breathe, oh wow, everyone was staring. This is definitely worse than the talent show, when everyone was busy on their phone or too invested in whispering to their friend. 

Michael played a few notes then, “Hey dude.” He called out to Jeremy.

Jeremy stared right back, “Yeah bro?” smiling a bit. Smiling was good. Smiling looked really nice on Jeremy, and oh shit did he let that silence go on for too long?

“I got something I need to take off my chest.”

Jeremy looked surprised, “You do?” Jeremy knew the lyrics though? Oh right, actor, he was real good at acting…

Michael closed his eyes and sung, thinking of these past thirteen years and dear god did he want thirteen and more with Jeremy, “Hey dude, we’ve been best friends for a really long time now.” He waited for the affirmative noise from Jeremy and continued, “And there’s something I need you to know! Remember that time we were surfing, and I almost drowned? And you dragged me to the beach and preformed CPR?” Michael banged on the keys and opened his eyes, locking them intensely with Jeremy, and belting out, “Well, no homo, but that’s the day I fell in love with you, no homo, but that’s the day I knew you were mine! Looking into your eyes, made me realize, no homo, but you’re lips touching mine,” Michael whispered into the microphone, the words still bouncing around a completely silent resteraunt, “changed my life.”

Jeremy had a bright red enveloping his ears and crawling up from his neck, his cheeks currently only a light pink flush, Michael wasn’t sure he’d make it through the whole song, when Jeremy yelled, “BRO! Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

Michael mumbled agreement, entranced by the different shades of red, his favorite color, that could exist on one person, as Jeremy sung, and that boy hadn’t sung since seventh grade? What a liar, this was much better than their joke performance which had cracking voices the whole way through, “Yeah dude, I totally get what your saying,” Jeremy stepped closer to Michael, “I’ve been wanting to tell you for so long. Remember that time at Disney World, I ate that giant chicken leg, and I started choking until you came along”

Jeremy grinned at him, a brilliant, we just beat level eight for the first time grin, that Michael hadn’t seen for a year, that he didn’t realize he missed so much until his heart started to ache at seeing it. “No homo! But that’s the day I fell in love with you,” That’s the words that Michael had wanted to hear for so long but it was in a stupid song made up by stupid kids, but for now he could pretend that they were real. He and Jeremy could share in the joy of, best friends. They were definitely still best friends. “No homo, but that’s the day I knew we were right. Your body pressed into mine, somehow didn’t cross the line!”

Michael cried out, laughing, “Why would it have!”

As Jeremy continued, in the same whisper Michael used earlier, “No homo, but that day, changed my life.”

They sang together, their words in harmony, playing a two player game only the two of them knew, “The outside world might see us as gay! But bro, we swear we’re not! We’re just two bros chilling out, and I think you’re really hot!”

Chloe then broke the silence by screaming, “Take off your shirt!”

Exuberant, and laughing to himself, Michael flung his hoodie off, leaving himself in just a tank top, the most exposed he’d been to Jeremy since ninth grade, when he realized how uncomfortably in love with the stupid boy he was.

Jeremy stuttered into the microphone, “Wait what?” before shaking his head and continuing, though only this time instead of locking eyes with Michael, his eyes seemed trained on his arms, “Snuggling with you under the covers, no homo.”

“Spooning with you just like we’re lovers,” Michael dragged out the two word refrain, “No ho-mo”

Jeremy completely flushed a deep red, “Our lips touch for a minute or two, but no homo,”

Michael shrugged, they did all that already, and he laughed again, the sound freeing, something he hadn’t allowed himself to do for so long, “It’s okay with me if it’s okay with you!”

Jeremy shouted, “IT totally is!”

They sang the last verse together, leaning in and staring into each other’s soul, “Looking into your eyes, made me realize, that I love you more than you could ever know. My bro”

“No homo”


	8. Should Have Chosen Cheetos

Brooke verbally jumped on him the second the two sat down, “Was that true? Did that really happen?”

Jenna leaned in, “Details! We need details!”

Michael looked at Jeremy and sighed, as soon as they left the stage Jeremy had distanced himself again, sticking to Christine. Well, all of Jeremy’s nergasimns were about to be thrown on the table. He flexed his arm to rest his chin on an upturned palm, Jeremy’s face turned redder and he let out a pained moan, oh yeah, Jeremy knew exactly what was coming, “Weeell, Jeremy here, pun absolutely intended, was absolutely obsessed with Soul Surfer the summer after sixth grade. Being the naturally best bro I am, I tagged along to our many surfing adventures.”

“I never surfed!” Interjected Jeremy.

“Yeha but you tried! And trying is half the battle.” A lifetime ago there would have been an enthusiastic ‘GI Joe!’ but now there was only silence. Coughing, Michael continued, “A-anyways, one of those times a wave caught me under my board and Jeremy pulled me to land. He tried to do CPR but he has weak noodle arms so didn’t really accomplish much more than hot bro on bro action.”

An arm settled around Michael’s shoulder and a finger snapped in realization. Michael looked up to see Jake having a moment. He waited until the man said, “That song! Didn’t you two sing that in the talent show in middle school? When Dick Gaylord entered you guys as a joke? God he was a prick.”

Michael laughed lightly, “I think you must have been the only one to pay attention that whole show, and to even remember it, wow. That’s like, memorizing Pac-man patterns level of memory capacity.”

Chloe smirked, “He remembers it because that’s when he began moaning your name.” At the dead silence that followed her statement Chloe shrugged, “What? We dated through all of ninth and tenth grade, and yes. It was just as awkward for me as it is for you hearing it now, when he screamed ‘Michael’.” Chloe squared her chin at the group that remained quiet, she was not repentant at all.

Hearing a low whine of “Ohmygod” Michael looked up to see Jake having an internal meltdown, if the heat blasting from his face was anything to go by.

Jeremy, who had sunk down in his seat, began making fierce eyes at Jake from the level of the table and muttered something out.

Rich raised an eyebrow, “What was that Jeremy? Couldn’t Heere you with all that Michael in your mouth.” Then he slapped himself on the forehead, “No damnit! Should have saved that for Jake! Damn it’s hard having two people hard for the same guy.”

Michael felt the arm around him shrug in defeat as Jeremy sputtered out, “I am not—I am not gay! I’m dating Christine for god’s sake! He’s just my best friend!” Jeremy swiveled his head to stare down Michael, “And I was saying that I’m taking back executive best friends rights and saying that we’re having a sleepover today!”

Despite his constant reiterations of the matter to himself, it still hurt to hear Jeremy so vehemently denying any possible attraction. But the kid had always defended his straight title with his life, him and Michael being made fun of their whole lives for their codependence.

So raising his lips in what he hoped was a smile, Michael replied, “Yeah sure, no problem dude. The beanbags haven’t moved.”

From above came a question, “Hey is it alright if I come? I’d like to spend more time with you?”

Michael replied in the affirmative, already wondering how if they would all fit on his full size bed. The Mell family didn’t believe in air mattresses or camping.

Rich repeated his statement that had been ignored three times already, in a much louder voice, “Who has sleepovers anymore! Losers!”

Jenna turned to him, “Oh my god Rich, if you want to be invited just ask!”

 

 

Michael stared down the snack cupboard, trying desperately not to think of the situation he left in the basement. Jeremy… was not the best at sharing. He knew this ever since first grade, when some kid claimed Michael as a reading partner and Jeremy had a full-on meltdown. The high-pitched screams of “But Mikey’s mine!” interspersed with hysterical bits of crying still made Michael laugh. That kid got worked up over the littlest things.

But still. Doritos were out, Jeremy might try to stab Jake with the pointy bits. He couldn’t bring down salt and vinegar chips, they were the only flavor Jeremy turned his nose up at. Would it be weird if he brought down cereal? What about peanut butter? Would Jake think that he’s weird for only being able to eat peanut butter out of a jar like a person who’d lost control of his life? Seeing the last lonely bag of popcorn, Michael snatched it and popped it in the microwave. Brilliant.

 

It was a terrible idea. Every time Michael turned back to look at Jake, the man had another kernel falling out of his hair, and Jeremy would be spinning back to face front so fast Michael worried about whiplash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to get the beginning of the sleepover done, because all the fun stuff happens at night. Poor Michael.


	9. You Put Your Pants On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As someone who's never even seen weed in real life before, please cut me some slack lol.

 

Eventually, Michael had enough. Pausing the video game angrily, he reached underneath the coffee table and pulled out his bag of weed, for emergencies only of course. Michael just so happened to have life changing emergencies every other week or so.

Jake looked alarmed at the bag, “Dude I can’t do weed! I’m on sports!”

Jeremy snorted, “Like they ever give a shit. As long as you’re not on steroids or whatever I think you’ll be fine.”

As the two were arguing over the finer points high school drug tests, Michael was already lighting up. He felt a calm haze wash over his mind and his shoulders dropped, releasing the tension that had been bundling in the last few hours of nonsense.

He waved his hand, “Jeremy you suck, get over here.”

The boy bounded over, immediately abandoning his conversation to dip down next to Michael, expectantly opening his mouth very close to Michael’s. Feeling his warm hot breath pant into Michael made him squirm uncomfortably, they had to do shotgunning if Jeremy wanted to get high, and every time it made his heart skip a beat. Several beats.

Inhaling the smoke and exhaling directly into Jeremy, Michael pulled back as soon as he knew that job was done. Being so close to this loveable asshole had to be horrible for his health.

Pulling back broke their private bubble and Jake came back into focus, who determinedly took the weed from him and expertly inhaled, no coughing or sputtering like the mess that was Jeremy, for someone who was against doing it in the first place.

Leaning back and looking at his boys, men, friends, whatever they were they were probably his, Michael felt content. They were gazing around, tracing the smoke patterns with their unfocused eyes, until Jake and Jeremy accidently made eye contact.

Jeremy began listing all of the reasons why Animal Crossing was much superior to Harvest Moon, to the growing displeasure of Jake, and that was when Michael announced, “Alright, so I need Doritos. If Jake somehow gets stabbed with one you’re both leaving, I don’t care that it’s one in the morning, you can bother your own folks.”

Meandering upstairs, Michael paused and just sat on the middle step, listening to the silence permeating the basement. A minute passed, then two, and he was just about to continue his trek when his patience paid off.

He could hear the two from his position, though they couldn’t see him, and Jake was the one that broke the silence with a sledgehammer.

“I get why you’re jealous you know. Michael’s great. But Chloe, was right today. I’ve wanted this for a long time and he’s just as wonderful as I thought he would be, even better really. I don’t want to let him go.”

Michael blushed profusely, he was _wonderful_?

But when Jeremy replied he shrank back as he could hear the sneer in his voice, something usually only reserved for when he talked about his absent mother, “Oh yeah, you would know a _lot_ about him then right? After all it’s not like you’ve known him for twelve years!”

“Oh yeah, then why can’t you treat him right if you’ve known him for so long?”

Michael wanted to know that. He really did. He metaphorically put pants on, saved Jeremy, saved… everyone, worked through his emotional hell, and Jeremy still treated him like crap?

Jeremy gave muffled scream, like he was shoving his face into his arms, “I don’t, I don’t know okay! But Michael’s strong, at least I don’t treat him like glass!”

“I just want to take care of him!”

“You kiss him like he’s about to break! That’s—”

At Jeremy’s abrupt silence, Michael peered nervously around the wall. Did the tension finally snap?

Jake was sitting on top of Jeremy, pinning his wrists above the boy’s head, the two viciously making out.  When Jake grinded his hips down, Michael stepped forward, he wasn’t even mad, just confused. Scratch that, he was kinda mad. They had to do this on top of his Player One bean bag?

“You high idiots, break it up. Save the hormones for when you’re sober.”

Jeremy looked up with wide, red rimmed eyes, but couldn’t bolt as he was still pinned down by Jake. Jake just looked at Michael at smiled lazily, “Hey, yah boi here is turned on by dudes. Good knowledge.” As Jeremy sputtered beneath him, he switched Jeremy’s wrists to one hand and pulled Michael in with the other, planting a soft kiss on his lips.

Michael gazed into Jake’s warm eyes, and then shook himself. “Right, well sleep. We are all going to have a talk in the morning. In the morning!” Jake made no movement, “And will you please get off of Jeremy? He’s going to die of repressed hormones.”

 

The three did, surprisingly, fit into Michael’s bed. Jeremy’s wound himself around Michael like a limpet, as usual, and Jake draped himself over Michael’s other side, needless to say he was very warm. Despite being practically trapped by two heaters, Michael eventually fell asleep.

And woke right back up an hour later. Confused, he dazedly looked around, wondering why he was awake, when it happened again. A foot from his left side, Jeremy’s side, brushed over top of Michael’s legs and swiftly kicked Jake’s leg off of Michael’s before retreating. As soon as Jeremy settled in again, Jake would move to claim even more territory, throwing his leg over both of Michael’s and winding an arm across his chest.

Jeremy bit Jake’s hand.

Frustrated, tired, and missing the few moments where he was high and content, Michael flung all limbs off of him and trudged up to the couch in the living room, dragging the blanket with him. He was going to get some sleep tonight, damnit.   


	10. Michael Has No Chill

 

Michael woke up with a crick in his back and anger in his heart. When he popped open his eyes the first persons he saw were the sources of his frustration, sitting opposite his temporary bed in the matching armchairs. Groaning to himself, he sat up with a pop, raising his arms above him to crack his back. “Alright, seems like you numbskulls want to have the talk at,” Michael checked the clock on the VCR, “at seven in the morning. Okay. I’ll make this quick.” Michael glared at Jeremy, who shrank back into the cushions, “Jer, are we dating?”

Predictably he turned bright red and vehemently denied, “No!”

Michael turned his glare on Jake, who rubbed the back of his head sheepishly; Michael caught a glimpse of teeth marks, “Jake. Are we dating?”

He furrowed his eyebrows, “Not... technically? I would like to, love to, but I don’t think that I ever asked you officially?”

Michael clapped his hands together, startling both, “All righty. Then why the _fuck_ do you two think you have any say in my life? Especially who I date and when?”

Jeremy dropped his head and began muttering incoherently so Michael continued, “Based on last night, you two have things to work out between yourselves and _with_ yourselves. Now get the fuck out of my house.”

 

Compared to the excitement of the days previous, having a sort of boyfriend and a best friend who actually paid attention to him, the rest of Michael’s weekend went… a bit lonelier. He didn’t touch his game system once, to his own surprise, and instead spent two full days writing and playing chords. Every time he went to close the document, inspiration would strike and he would begin furiously typing again. And if his grammar was mysteriously fixed, or a sentence was changed to be less awkward, well, Michael only resolved to get Chloe some Pinkberry one day.

Monday morning rolled around, and in the dawning light, Michael finished a period with a loud clack and sank back in his chair. Done. Now just endless edits left to perfect his piece. His alarm clock started buzzing and Michael looked at it in alarm. “Oh shit,” he whispered and darted around, replacing two day old clothes and picking up half eaten dishes that cluttered his already packed room.

Downing a Mountain Dew Red, he didn’t think that he would ever be able to drink green again, Michael headed off for school, turning on his phone for some jams for the first time in days. He watched it expectantly, waiting for the influx of messages but with a sinking stone in his gut, realized nothing was coming. “I guess, no one really cares.”

He had his outburst, and yeah, expected some recoil, but got nothing. They filed out, their head hung low, no justification or arguing. No texts asking to talk, or attempts to contact him at all. Not even one dolphin emoji from Jeremy to let him know that everything was going to be alright. And alright, he was pissed before, but now he was livid. They expect him to be calm and chill, and the second he gets disgruntled they bail? How was that, how was that fair?

Alright, they want to play that game, he could play it better.

 

With his headphones blasting and thumbs blitzing on the new level of Potion Punch, Michael breezed through the first half of school, only ever picking his head up to wave at Chloe, who sent him a 100 emoji afterwards. It was lunch when he was finally bothered. He sat at an empty table and was about to pick apart his turkey sandwich, when a cough from above made him take off his headphones.

Jake waved his hand and attempted to sit down before Michael pinned him with a glare. He raised an eyebrow, “Did you figure your shit out?”

Jake hunched his shoulders and turned to walk away, making Michael mutter and shrug, “Guess not.”

Jeremy didn’t even try to approach him. He watched the two angrily whisper at the Squip squad’s table, everyone turning around to look at Michael at least once. He dived back into his game, both of these _boys_ had no spine! And he was lonely! He was… really lonely damnit. If he wasn’t there to support them through everything, he wasn’t there at all…

 

The last bell rung and Michael headed out, only stopped when he was sent skidding forward a few feet from the arms wrapped around his middle, tackling him. He whipped his head back, seeing Chloe hugging him apologetically. Her large eyes stared up at him, filling with tears, “Michael… I’m so sorry.”

He didn’t think he’s ever seen Chloe cry. “Sorry for what? Unless you mind control those two bozos I can’t think of anything you could have done.”

Sniffing she handed him her phone, the news app flashing its newest update ‘FAD OR FLOP’, with a short article about a manuscript young teens had been going nuts over that popped up in the last day. Michael felt his blood run ice cold. He scanned the article quickly to find the name of the manuscript in the very last sentence.

Be More Chill.  


	11. Michael in the Car, Screaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the short chapters, trying my best.

Michael stared at Chloe, “What how? It’s not ready! I made Jeremy seem like an asshole cuz I was mad!” He ignored the muttered ‘but he is’ and plowed on, “And only the piano bits are done, I have everything else to compose! And it’s not edited! When I said it was done I didn’t mean it!”

Michael stared at the phone, seeing his name displayed attached to his disaster of a musical. This is terrible. Why would a merciful god allow this to happen?

Chloe shakily inhaled, “I did it. You always question yourself so I published I on a forum so that you could get feedback and encouragement so that you could see how amazing it is! I never thought that it was going to blow up to be so, so popular!”

The simmer of anger buzzing in his veins all day exploded into a surge of frustration and he wanted so badly, to take to phone in his hand and crush it, to throw it and watch it skitter broken across the pavement. But. That wouldn’t do anything but lose him another friend. It wouldn’t even make him feel better.

Michael closed his eyes and shut out the bustle of the parking lot around him. The pounding in his blood slowed and the haze around his vision cleared until all he could see was the bright red of the sun pouring through his eyelids and he focused on that. Chloe was only trying to help. She was trying to help and made a mistake. They all make mistakes, he makes plenty himself.

Relaxing his tight grip on her phone, he took a deep breath and opened his eyes to see Chloe still nervously hovering. He cracked a smile, “Let’s go grab Brooke and get some Pinkberry, hm?”

Chloe swiped her phone and sent a quick text while walking with Michael to his car. As they approached the PT cruiser, Michael snorted, seeing Christine perched on the hood of the car, scrolling through something. She jerked her head up at the sound and waved, “Brooke said Pinkberry, and I need to talk to you anyways, so let’s go get some frozen yumminess!”

Chloe squinted at Christine, “I literally just texted her. You’ve been out here since last period.”

Christine shrugged, “Oh you know. Michael tends to skip when he’s had a bad day and I had to catch him. Him and his _amazing_ wonder brain.”

They all slid into the car, Michael revving the engine, Brooke had her own car to get there.

“My amazing wonder brain?” Michael commented, “And I thought you would be comforting Jeremy through the tragedy of high school rather than kidnapping me.” He didn’t mention that it used to be his job, but figured that maybe he could give the new Player One some tips on how to deal when his whining went overboard.

Christine hooked up her phone to the car’s audio. “Oh you know, I love Jeremy but I don’t have to hang out with my ex all the time. We’re friends, but not like _friends_ like you are ya know? Besides, Michael, you’re working on a top-notch musical and that beats everything! When you told me about it I never thought that it would literally take my breath away when reading it. I cried. Literally. I love it. To death. I will attend every single performance. Every. Single. One.”

In the rear view mirror Michael saw Chloe pause in fixing her hair as she said, “Ookay and I thought that Jeremy word vomited.”

Christine quickly flipped Chloe off and does that count as swearing? Did Christine freaking Canigula just swear?!

Then the rest of Christine’s rant smacked Michael in the face. He quickly swerved into the Pinkberry parking lot and slammed on the breaking, prompting a startled scream out of Chloe, who dropped her hairbrush.

He started incoherently screaming until he could for words again, “EX! As in EX-BOYFRIEND?!” He shut off the engine and pointed accusingly at Christine, “Cristine _fuckin_ Canigula! I just wrote a whole musical about you two getting together! And you’re telling me! You’re telling me! That Jeremy middle name asshole Heere, broke up with you! Where is he so that I can burn him at the stake?!”

Christine calmly took hold of his hand and lowered it so that it was out of her face. She smiled serenely. “I’m not telling you that at all. I broke up with him.”

Michael let out another incoherent scream as Brooke tapped on the closed window, promptly causing the two girls to join in the shrieking.


	12. Jake Dillinger is a NERD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a little something from Jakey D's perspective. Sorry for all the sap.

Jake Dillinger has been in love with Michael Mell for a very long time. Or at least it feels like quite a long time. You see, Jake has only been alive for seventeen years, and loving someone since seventh grade, well that’s nearly four years, which if one fudges the maths a bit, is nearly one fourth of his life! So to him at least, he has been in love for a very long time.

 It didn’t start out as love, no, it started as a crush, from one tall gangly sixth grader to another, albeit shorter, one. Sixth grade Jake Dillinger wasn’t aware of what being gay was, being bisexual, or even what to name what he was feeling. But he did know that when Dick Gaylord made fun of him for being a tree, in a not very witty limerick, tiny little Michael Mell was his temporary defender with a triumphant middle finger in the air.

Jake Dillinger thought that his mother was pretty, and that Chloe Valentine's hair shone in the sun, but when Michael Mell took his hand and offered him part of a candy bar, Jake knew that he had found the most beautiful person in the world.

It didn’t stop there, oh no. Suddenly Jake noticed Michael _everywhere_. When he was shopping with his mother, before she and his father disappeared without a trace and barely a phone call, Michael would be chilling by the video game rentals, enthusing over them with another brunette, John or something. And if you think that Jake jumped behind a display of crackers to avoid being seen and accidently knocked the whole thing over, well _you_ would be correct, _he_ would be embarrassed, and he really just wasn’t used to having such long reach.

He would say a tentative yes to Madeline, who cornered him and asked him on a date to the movies, and there would be Michael, heading into the opposite theater, head thrown back in laughter, which did funny things to Jake's insides. And then Madeline would take his arm and he would sit through three hours of the rereleased _Gone with the Wind_ and three hours of eyes made at him. He bet that Michael was the type to get super invested in a movie, unless Jake _distracted_ him.

Then came the summer after sixth and Jake was all alone for the first time. His parents had left, no note, no explanation, just a credit card and a nanny who never came around. He spent weeks, holed up in his room, ordering every single Harvest Moon merchandise off of Amazon, just waiting for his parents to call and reprimand him, to tell him what he did wrong. The call never came, and eventually Jake had to leave the house, to go grocery shopping, alone, at least.

He stopped in on the rental video game section, a section his mother had never let them browse through, convinced that the violent games were ruining their youth. Listlessly he shuffled the titles, looking for nothing in particular except to hear the ghost of his mother muttering about lost innocence.

“H-hey man? You alright?” And there was Michael Mell, nervously adjusting his glasses and actually talking to Jake, without a bully in sight.

Jake cracked a brittle smile, he wouldn’t have tried, didn’t feel like trying, but even with his heart ripped out of its cage, a few drops of blood still danced when they saw this boy. “Yeah. I’m, going to be alright.”

His answer only seemed to concern Michael more, as he put down his bags of chips and rustled through his hoodie pockets. Pulling out a candy bar he shoved it into Jake’s hands and started to head for the exit, fidgeting. “Just. You look like you need it. Get better dude.”

Only after Michael had faded from sight did he realize that his stomach was growling, had been growling, like a gaping maw that was clawing for anything within reach.

Over that summer, Jake learned a few things about Michael. Like his friend’s name was Jeremy. Or that he enjoyed 90’s soft drink products. Or that Michael’s parents have been largely absent from his life since fifth grade. That… changed things. Michael was strong, and awkward, but wasn’t everyone at their age, but he stood up for people and always was there for Jeremy, even when the kid said something abnormally stupid. Jake’s parents leaving tore him apart but maybe it would make him more like Michael? He could be strong. He had to be.

And that’s when Jake started leaving the house a little more, smiling a little more, playing a little more. Seventh grade hit and so did testosterone. Suddenly throwing the ball around was giving him muscles, and his long gangly limbs started filling out t-shirts. Dick Gaylord took one look at him and turned tail, presumably to find prey that didn’t look like they could put him through a wall.

And then, in the first semester, came the talent show. A mandatory attendance for everyone to show off their best mediocre skills. When Jake saw the sign-up list, with ‘GAYYYYYY DUET Michael Jeremy’, scrawled across three lines of the sheet, Jake saw red. He guessed that Dick had found new prey. And he found wrong. Seventh grade was the first time that Jake had ever punched anyone, and the first time he had ever gotten detention. Sitting at a scribbled on desk, nursing bruised knuckled and an aching jaw, Jake resolved to learn how to fight better.

He joined wrestling, and then lacrosse. Volleyball, and tennis. Football, and sculpture. He discovered his love for everything, and his patience for none of it. He wanted to do absolutely everything he could get his hands on, and through his bouncing around annoyed plenty of people, and made plenty of friends. His first true friend was Chloe with the shining hair, who invited him over for Friday night dinners after football and suddenly he had a family again. Her family was full, with five children of various ages running around, but her father just huffed a laugh and suddenly he was given house keys and a spare drawer to leave clothes if he ever stayed the night.

With Chloe came Brooke, a girl with the sharpest nails you’ll ever see and a secret love for superheroes. His skill in not hurting himself when knocking another guy out increased exponentially with time spent with Brooke. The girl was a bit oblivious to her surroundings and Jake was not oblivious to the inappropriate comments and actions made her way.

But again, the talent show. Sign-ups were just the beginning, after ensuring that Gaylord stayed off their back, Jake never dreamed of the duo going through with it.

In off key, joking preteen voices, cracks and all, the two giggled their way through the ‘Bro Duet’. It was all well and fine but when Michael whispered sincerely into to microphone, ‘Changed my life’, Jake knew that he was screwed. Chloe looked over only to see him biting down on his fist, staring at Michael with wonderment in his eyes. Michael was his forever, and he was going to get him someday.

Of course, Jake never expected to get Michael. They were worlds apart, Michael never would look twice at a guy who was, well, a drifter. He never stayed with one person or one activity, wanting to taste all that life had to offer. So those few days, where he got to hold Michael’s hand, and kiss him, (and Michael kissed back!) were amazing. He literally felt like he was floating the entire time. Michael sang to him, at him, in the same room as him, and it was and incredibly intimate experience. Jake wrapped him in a blanket because he didn’t know what else to do. This strong boy now man that Jake has been trying to live up to just broke down in front of him, admitted that he had fears, and trusted Jake enough to let him try to help!

When Michael yelled and kicked them out during the sleepover, Jake wasn’t surprised. He knows that they done fucked up. He knew that he shouldn’t have been riling Jeremy every available moment, but the boy was so, such an asshole sometimes! He was hurting Michael and was so wrapped up in his own crisis that he didn’t even seem to care.

Jake spent the rest of the weekend at Chloe’s house, needing to feel the press of people to keep him from drowning. He messed up and didn’t know how to fix it. One of the clubs that he had joined forever ago was a poet’s society and he was no great writer, but maybe with enough drafts he could write a bomb ass apology.

The two of them, Chloe with her perpetually cold feet stuck underneath his thigh, were both lying on her bed, both furiously taping away at different things on their screens, when Chloe spoke. “What if he chooses Jeremy?”

“Then I will be very sad.”

Chloe saved the document angrily, “No really! What will you do! You’ve had your heart set on this boy for years, Jake! You need a backup plan!”

Jake shrugged, wondering over his word choice in the third paragraph, “I don’t need a backup plan. Michael is the one activity I’m fully committing to. If he’s going to break my heart that’s okay, but until then, I’m set on loving him.”


	13. Jeremy Needs a Hug

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the reason why Jeremy has been an asshole... self loathing! Isn't that fun to find out.

Jeremy is so fucking scared. He’s spent most of his life terrified so this is nothing new to him, he can deal. The only time he’s ever felt confident was with the Squip, but even then, it was a sick twisted confidence that wasn’t _him_. But if being _him_ meant being so scared at _everything_ that he had to constantly swallow back the nausea in his throat, maybe he should go back to being Squipped.

_That’s right… come back… Jeremy._

No! Not today Squip. He has to, he has to figure his own shit out, Michael, his everything, told him to. And he can’t let the last dregs of a supercomputer slow him down.

Jeremy scrambled to hold onto something solid in his slide back. Everything about me is so terrible. No! His Michael said that wasn’t true! He promised! His Michael! He knew that he loved his Michael.

That was a fact.

Something Jeremy could hold onto.

Jeremy met Michael in kindergarten, when the both of them liked the _big yellow face that ate the ghosts_. And Michael had been there since. Since first grade, when Jeremy was so tired of a whole day of school that Michael brought an extra hoodie so that he could nap unnoticed, he’s sure she knew anyways. Since third, when his volcano wasn’t working out for the science fair so Michael spent the whole night over so they could bring something in. They fell asleep at nine and brought in a clay mess, but he sure had fun. Since fifth grade, when his mom left, and Michael invited himself over for a month, just so that they could build pillow forts and watch Disney movies and not focus on the gaping hole in his life.

Since seventh, when Michael spent three days coming up with lyrics and working out a piano piece so that they could make fun of a shitty time in middle school.

Every single moment in Jeremy’s life, and his Michael had been right there, making a good time amazing. His Player One was the best thing to ever happen to him and he fucked it all up. He was scared, so scared, of being beaten up all day, of being tripped, of girls, of the swirling black mass that threatened to drag him under with every derogatory remark about him, his looks, his everything. Michael kept him afloat during all of that, stayed with him for some reason, encouraged him, and yet the second he had a way out he took it.

And he was ashamed of that.

As soon as the Squip was gone, it was like a wall blocking his darkest thoughts melted and unfurled around him, an embrace of everything terrible about him. And this time he couldn’t go back to Michael. What would he say, _sorry that all of this was for nothing and my crippling depression is sucking out my will to live. Hug?_

The Squip may have been a manifestation that hurled insults at him, but what it didn’t realize was that he put himself through much worse. It thought that insulting his nerdiness was worse than self hatred? That, that, dating Christine would make him less attracted to guys? That it could hurl sharper barbs than the look of disgust in his mom’s eyes when he held Michael’s hand?

That it could take back the flinch that shuddered through his dad whenever he kissed Michael?

It may be wrong, to have these feelings, but they were _him_ damnit, and isn’t that all he was supposed to be?

So maybe, maybe he wasn’t ready for his bubble to break. For all these amazing people to come pouring into his life. Christine was great, the best girlfriend he could have asked for. She stayed with him for an entire summer, which is far beyond anything he could have hoped for! She only left when she realized that she was a shield. _Because I’m too fucking pathetic to face Michael on my own. Or to let him go._

He was going to! At the sleepover. Tell Michael that, _these twelve, thirteen, years have been great. And I’m in love with you, which is wrong on so many levels, so don’t feel like you have to hang around me anymore. I get it._

Because he doesn’t deserve Michael and never has. And he can’t figure out his shit, because Michael is his shit, his solution.

But Michael likes Jake and Jake _loves_ Michael. They’d be good together and he’d love to see what they could become. But he doesn’t know how to let go.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone thinks that I wrote depression wrong, or bad(which is likely), feel free to shout out, I'm just going off of my own experiences here.


	14. I wanna dance with somebody!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um yeah, the ending broke me a little (Mostly cuz i wasn't sure how to write it, but because its sad too). At least you know Jeremy's reasons, even if Michael just has to guess.

After their collective hearts had calmed, and Chloe had flipped off Brooke, Michael stopped the car and let everyone out. He clicked his phone on for a second to check the time, and his heart stuttered. The date, displayed innocently next the time, said October 5th. His birthday. And Jeremy hadn’t even made eye contact with him. Every year, without fail, Jeremy would show up to school or his house of it was a weekend, arms laden with snacks and slushies, and a special homemade shiny pokemon card. No one ever remembered his birthday, but Jeremy, and he, he didn’t mind. His parents had left last night, and Michael barely noticed them pulling out of the driveway without so much as a goodbye.  But he always noticed Jeremy.

He had no idea what was going through that boy’s head.

A soft touch at his arm shook him out of his thoughts and he looked down at Christine. She said to him, trailing behind the group into Pinkberry, “I don’t think that you’re his problem exactly. Jeremy may act air headed, but he has a lot going on inside that head. A lot of bad things.” She bit her thumb and looked worried, “And I know that you’re pissed, but can you please force him to talk? Actually talk, about feelings and stuff, not just fluff? You and I both know that he won’t approach you, he’ll just spiral deeper into his thoughts of all the reasons why not.”

Michael let out a soft breath, “You know him pretty well. I don’t think Jeremy even has that insight into you, and that kids been dreaming of the day you’d talk to him since freshman year.”

She giggled, “Well, I’m sure that I’m nothing like he imagined. And we did date for almost seven months, I would hope I knew a few things about our walking disaster.”

“Are you two done whispering about Jeremy and ready for some frozen yogurt?!”

Michael waved at Chloe dismissively and raised an eyebrow at Christine, “Well are we?”

 

Frozen yogurt, as close to ice cream as something not ice cream could get, truly does soothe the soul. He felt much calmer, less like there was something ready to burst forth out of his sternum, and more mildly displeased at the situation he found himself in.

But now, curious. He asked Chloe, “So when you posted my thing. Did it get any comments? Can I read them?”

She snorted most ungracefully, taking a big spoon of chocolate strawberry swirl before answering, “Man, with the rate of comments coming in, you would never be able to read them all. Just know that they love it. And don’t believe what the trolls are saying, they are few and far between. But my man, there is fanart! It’s been approximately twelve hours, I posted it at four this morning, and there is fanart and a smattering of fanfiction already! Like can you believe.” She was so excited, waving her spoon around and flinging sprinkles at Brooke, “I edited this whole work, so sorry Michael, it feels a bit like my baby too, and I am ecstatic at the response coming in so far.”

Michael scraped the last bit of yogurt out of his bowl, “So like. You think that once I clean it up a bit, I could send it out to theater houses or something?”

Chloe pointed her spoon at him, “I think a large portion of your fanbase would _die_ from the thought that they get to see it in person, but yeah. Go for it man. I will be with Christine at every performance.”

Brooke pitched in, “If you plan on doing it through a house and not a local performance, do you still need dance lessons?” She folded in on herself, “Because they were. Umm. Really fun, and I enjoyed spending time with you both.”

Michael smiled, she was so cute, he couldn’t believe that the Squip would want to use her instead of being with her, “I think, that I still would like those lessons. They come in handy sometimes yeah? Make all the boys stare at prom.”

 

Back in his room, staring at the glow in the dark stars that littered his ceiling, Michael leaned back and heard a slight crunch. “Huh?” He stuck a hand underneath his pillow and pulled out a slightly bent envelope, covered with crudely drawn figures of Link and the triforce. And of course, a little zombie from his favorite game with his favorite person, drawn in the corner.

Michael laughed incredulously to himself, tearing open the envelope and pulling out a birthday card, Jeremy’s name scribbled at the bottom. And a shiny Blastoise card that fell out onto his lap, completing his starter collection.

He suddenly felt ten pounds lighter and hopped out of bed. Despite the setting sun, he pulled up the hood of his sweatshirt, adjusted his glasses, and pulled out of the driveway to make his way over to the Heere house, for the first time in months.

 

Michael tried the handle once, twice, and gave up on the front door the third time. Michael had never been locked out of the Heere household, it was practically his second home, if you could call the darkly lit, empty space that he happened to sleep in sometimes his home.

Sliding the shiny Blastoise into his back jean pocket, Michael looked up at the tree growing right by Jeremy’s window. He hadn’t had to climb that tree since fifth grade, when Jeremy’s mom didn’t believe in sleepovers, when his parents were around enough to enforce a curfew.

It certainly looked stronger, the years giving it more width, but it also seemed much further to that second story than his memories recalled.

Michael hoisted himself up to the first branch above his head, mentally thanking past him for all those pushups. Wanting Jeremy’s attention was helpful in getting into his bedroom he supposed, not in that way though. But he wouldn’t mind if it led to, no, nope not going there.  

By the third branch, Michael was sweating hard and he was only halfway there. Dad Heere was home, probably, and also probably would not be enthused about a boy crawling into his son’s window, so Michael muffled his panting breaths into his bulky sleeve. Which caused him to realize that he was doing strenuous activity in a much too large, too warm hoodie, and his body would much appreciate it if he took it off and continued the climb in his dark striped muscle tank. He sat on a brank and placed his back against the bark, struggling out of his sweatshirt that was determinedly sticking to his skin, him wobbling fiercely the whole time.

Michael stood up on the branch again, and with one hand grasping the branch above, lobbed his balled up sweatshirt through Jeremy’s open window. He heard a thud, a high pitched shriek and, “Gross why is this so sweaty?!” Before a head poked out of the window, “Michael!”

He may not have been able to see him clearly through the branches, but Michael knew that tone of voice anywhere. Jeremy was ecstatic to see him. With renewed energy, Michael climbed the last few branches and with Jeremy’s help, swung himself through the window, toppling the both of them onto the twin bed. Michael laughed, “Hey dude! Thanks for the Blastoise!”

Jeremy grasped his hands, tugging him upright, “Of course Player One! It’s your birthday! The most important day of the year. You’re eighteen! We’re both legal! We can move out or do anything we want! And speaking of everything we want, I have something to tell you.”

Michael nodded for Jeremy to continue, too excited to speak properly. This was it. It was happening.

Jeremy serenely smiled, nearly closing his eyes in happiness, “I can’t do this to you anymore. I’m breaking up with you."


	15. Save the Pitiful Children

 

Michael fist was flying at Jeremy’s face before either boy really knew what was happening. An inch away from his nose it halted suddenly, the slowed down to tangle in Jeremy’s hair and pull him closer. Michael harshly asked, “You’re what? Like breaking our friendship? I’m sorry but after twelve years that’s not something you get to decide with that stupid look on your face.”

Jeremy’s smile fell, shattered like his self-confidence, “W-what? I’m letting you go! You can leave!”

Michael tugged him even impossibly closer, resting their foreheads together, “Not today, not ever. And I’m especially not leaving when you smile like that. Remember when your mom left? You wore that same stupid expression when you thought you figured out what you did to drive her away.” Michael gripped Jeremy’s hand tightly, “You’re not okay. And I’ll be here until you are, and after that and forever.”

Jeremy chocked out, “W-why?”

“Because who else would remember my birthday?” Michael took a deep breath, “And because I love you, you gigantic dweeb.”

Michael could feel Jeremy’s breathing stop. He made eye contact, and when Jeremy tried to pull away he held on and slowly nodded. This dumb boy had to believe him. If he let go now Jeremy would convince himself that the words were empty platitudes.

Jeremy reached up and untangled Michael’s fingers from his hair, and he let him. Straightening up, Jeremy held both of Michael’s hands in his lap, “No. No, you love Jake. And he _loves_ you. And you are his rock. You might be my _everything_ , but you, you make him stronger.” He glanced down at his lap, “I’m just a weak piece of shit.”

Michael squeezed his hand, “Put a dollar in the swear jar and a fiver in the ‘Jeremy is Awesome Jar’” He looked over at the desk pointedly, the aforementioned jars sparkling prettily from the shear amount of coins in the dwindling light. Jeremy sighed despondently and Michael turned back to him, “I like Jake. I really do. And maybe, maybe that could turn into love. And maybe he loves me too, I don’t know. But I’m weak and breakdown, and for god’s sake, we have a special place in school Jeremy for when the stimulus is just too much! When I am strong, it’s for you. You make me want to be better, and that’s the strongest feeling in the world.”

Jeremy inhaled and started sniffling, “I know I don’t deserve you. At all. And all I do is fuck up. But Michael,” He looked up with shimmering eyes, “I _love_ you.”

Gently shaking his hands out of Jeremy’s grip, Michael shot forward and hugged Jeremy, tackling him backwards onto the bed. He wrapped his arms around his boy and muttered fiercely, “I’m not letting go. This vice grip will not release until you prove that I’m not having another daydream.”

Jeremy gave out a watery laugh and moved his flailing arms to thread through Michael’s hair. Using his leverage to move Michael’s face that was buried in his neck to in front of him, he smiled serenely. A true, make Michael’s heart melt, smile, not one on the edge of breaking.

Jeremy leaned up and softly kissed Michael, different from the distraction kisses, this one was long, and slow. It sent tingles down Michael’s spine and he couldn’t help but smile down into it.

His boy pulled away and whispered in the still air, “Now I think Jake’s been waiting long enough.”

Jeremy sent off a quick text on his phone and Michael heard the pounding of footsteps on the stairs. His head tilted in confusion and the corner of his lips turned down. “What’s happening?”

As the door started opening Jeremy said, with finger air quotes included, “Jake came over today to and I quote ‘figure out our shit’.”

Jake popped his head in, balancing a large bowl of Cheetos on his hip, “Ya’ll done being mushy now? Not that I mind, it’s just that this house has _no_ soundproofing.” He waltzed in, comfortably lounging in Jeremy’s computer chair, “And there’s no maybe about it Michael, I do love you. A lot. A terrifying amount actually, considering that we don’t talk much.”

Michael looked closer at Jake’s confident demeanor, and saw the waver at the edge of his smirk, the guarded look in his eyes, and the slight turn in the broad shoulders. Jake was preparing to be rejected. But, Michael didn’t want to reject him. He more than a little liked Jake, and even though he loved Jeremy, Jake’s kisses were like fire and he felt safe and taken care of with him. Was it terrible that he didn’t want to have to be strong all the time?

Was it terrible that he didn’t want to choose?

Did that make him a terrible person? If he couldn’t make up his mind, because in the span of a few days, building from years, the two had become an integral part of his day? That they bickered and fought and yelled and he wanted them to fight for him not about him? That maybe he wanted both?

Michael looked at the both of them, Jeremy, whose limbs he was still tangled up in, who was calm and still for once instead of his persistent fidgeting, and Jake, who was only becoming more hunched over the longer Michael’s dead silence became.

In the end, it was Jeremy, the boy terrified to bother anyone, who broke the quiet, “Michael… have you ever thought, that maybe, you might be polyamorous?”

 

“I mean, who just comes out and asks that?!” Michael waved his arms about frantically as Christine petted his hair.

“So you bolted?” The question came out with no judgement, just a wondering tone, and Michael slumped down defeated.

“Yeah."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sue me! I love everyone too much and they've been through a lot okay!


	16. Michael learns him some things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a short one, I'm trying to get a few plot things out of the way before my vacation. I won't have access to my computer from the 18th to the 22nd, but I have word on my phone so eh, we'll see. 
> 
> You ever hear that saying that things only get worse before they get better? Think that, but in reverse.

 

Christine poked him, “So if you skedaddled and instead of getting _busy_ ,” she swiveled her hips in a motion he hoped she’d _never_ make again, “then why do you look like the walking dead? And not even walking, kind of a slow shuffle.”

Michael moaned into his crossed arms, “I took Jeremy’s lack of self preservation and confidence into account and rewrote some parts of the script. It’s incredibly hard to make him not seem like an asshole, when he kinda was for months. The Squip has an actual role now, I think I’ll have to cast somebody for it.”

She hummed, scooting closer to him on top of the lunch table. Christine was much like a cat, if there was access to a higher, more obnoxious place to sit, chances were she was already perched there. “So. Did you update your manuscript for your adoring public? Your fanbase is only growing.” She whipped out her phone, “And boyf riends is only gaining more fanfiction the longer its posted.”

A scream breaking out from across the cafeteria caused her to drop her phone on the table with a clatter that was barely heard over teenage excitement.

“Jared! It updated! We now have a perfect asshole for you to play!”

Michael and Christine did usually eat with the rest of the squad, in the senior’s lunch period, but they were volentold by Mr. Reyes to help clean the theater and in doing so, were delegated to a later lunch period, with the sophomores. They sat alone at the edge of the lunchroom, on one of the less favored tables. In the exact center of the room, lay three long tables pushed together, and with it, the most chill kids of the tenth grade.

They were pretty engrossed in Michael’s life drama, and in helping him figure his shit out, so they mostly ignored the pimply fresh faced younger kids.

Until that is, the band kids pulled out their instruments, and the chill kids of the tenth grade, burst into song. If it was not interrupting her conversation, Christine would have been thrilled at the resurge of popularity theatre was getting.  

Michael gaped and Christine squealed, as a tall gangly boy sporting an open trench coat spun around on top of the center tables. They could hear him from their position, “But Jeremy! Soon you’ll see! That if you listen to me! Everything about you is going to be wonderful!”

The people gathered around the seats sung the chorus as Michael whispered to his friend, “Everyone’s entranced. Did I just start a cult? Is that what just happened?”

Christine whispered back, not moving her eyes from the crowd, “I don’t know, but we should escape before they figure out who you are.”

 

Michael was about to head out for the day when he was cornered by Rich, who he hadn’t seen in days.

Rich narrowed his eyes, “Listen. That boy is my best friend, and you best treat him right. I don’t care if he doesn’t mind sharing, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t have to love him just as much!” He flexed an arm, “You hurt him, I will Heather Chandler you.”

As soon as he appeared, Rich was gone, lost in the crowd of departing students before Michael could fire off a word. Christine appeared at his elbow, “Everything alright? You look a little pale. And not the no sleep pale you were sporting before but an ‘I just got shoved into a locker’ pale.”

Michael started, then stopped. Thinking about his words then opening his mouth again, “I think that Rich just gave me a shovel talk. But I’m not sure?”

Christine hummed musingly, “What’d he say?”

“That he’d Heather Chandler me. I don’t know any Heathers?”

Christine laughed gaily, and hiccupped, “Oh you really need to know your musicals for someone who’s writing one. He’s saying that he’ll force you to drink drain cleaner and forge a suicide note.”

Michael found himself fighting to hold down his lunch. He didn’t doubt Rich for a second.

 

Michael didn’t really have any experience with the whole dating thing, let alone dating more than one person. He spent his whole life around Jeremy, so until recently he wasn’t even used to being _around_ more than one person who tolerated him. But if he could handle them when they were picking on each other relentlessly, and Jeremy was stuck in his own vicious cycle, surely he could handle them, love them, when they were all healing and getting along?

He knows that he doesn’t owe them anything. And he won’t do it out of some twisted sense of gratitude for putting up with him, but he _wants_ to give them a chance. He wants to see if he has enough love in his heart for two people. And well, he knew there was some chemistry between Jake and Jeremy, even if the two thought they had the _incident_ out of anger. Michael certainly didn’t go around kissing his enemies. He thought they could work, and well, if the thought of waking up between two people who loved him made him feel safe and nurtured a glowing ball of warmth next to his heart, only he had to know.

 


	17. It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

 

It may have been the beginning of the year, but it was also the end of a season, autumn swirling in with leaves falling off trees and piling up in the yard faster than the college rejection letters Michael threw out his window.  Frustration was no new feeling to him, but freaking out over _school_ was. No acceptance letters, except from the community college down the road. He hadn’t even applied to Pace yet, too scared of getting a slim envelope in return.

Michael knew that he was perfectly average, and thought that would get him through, but apparently even the University of Phoenix wanted someone exceptional.

He stared around at his disaster of a room, tears welling in his eyes, _why was he never enough_ , when the distinct vibrations of his phone buzzed around the room. It went off several more times before he uncovered it underneath his bundle of blankets and saw four new messages blinking from Christine.

My beautiful mountain dew man, what is wrong

I feel ur bad vibrations back at school

Im texting as play rehearsal, respond!

I totally am not concerned cuz Jeremy looked in ur mailbox and texted me. Oh no, definitely not that

_Can I come over?_

Not home

_To… you know_

OMFG U WANT TO COME TO PLAY REHEARSAL?! I LOVE PLAY REHEARSAL. COME TO PLAY REHEARSAL

 

Michael was in his car buckling his seatbelt when the screaming text came through. Despite his gloom, he smiled. The world could be in the middle of a zombie apocalypse and that girl would still be excited about play rehearsal. He didn’t question for a second her early admittance into the theatre program at Julliard.

The eight minute ride to school calmed Michael down a bit, having to focus on turn signals and traffic lights instead of the draping depression winding its way around  his shoulders, ready to press down and take hold. As he found himself doing more and more often, he sang under his breath the piece that he poured his soul into, “…in the bathroom, at the biggest party of the fall. I could stay right here or disappear, and nobody would even notice at all.”

But they would. Michael had real actual friend _s_ now. He wasn’t alone and suffering, but getting stronger every day with a support network. He felt miles away from where he was last year, but sometimes… it felt like he hadn’t moved an inch.

Entering the barely lit theatre, except for of course the glaring stage lights, Michael sat down quickly in the back and stared in confusion at the scene. He pulled out his phone log and confirmed, that yes, they were supposed to be rehearsing for the Princess Bride. He didn’t think that had any singing in it.

Christine was bouncing around the stage, singing her heart out, as Jeremy uncomfortably fidgeted on a chair near her.

“I’ve got so many interests I want to pursue, and why am I telling this to you?” She paused, waiting for a silent beat, “I guess there’s a part of me that wants to.”

And wait a minute, Michael recognized those words, maybe not sung, but written down. They were preforming his work! And Jeremy was there! Which means Jeremy knew about the musical, ad that Michael wrote about him, without his permission, and made him seem like a dick, and surely hated him now, because Jeremy hated people looking at him and that’s all the play was about… and

“Michael!” Christine bounded up to him, her hair bouncing and phone flashlight shining in his face, “Are you happy?! We thought you might like to see it on a stage, distract you from your worries for the rest of your days!”

Jeremy looked up from shrinking into himself, to link eyes with Michael in the back, he weakly waved and Michael, well in the middle of Christine monologuing, fucking dabbed back. It was the saddest dab of his life. Christine stopped short when she heard a nasally laugh bark from the stage and reverberate through the auditorium.

She quickly summed up, “We’re here for you, you know?” before turning and yelling to Jeremy, “That’s how you project! From the diaphragm, you got it!”

Christine held out a hand and when he grasped it, pulled him out of his seat and began dragging him towards the front. She lifted herself onto the stage and motioned for him to do the same. Heaving himself onto the raised space, it was much harder than all her jumping around made it appear, he looked around and a slushie was shoved into his hands. Michael grinned, the darkness really starting to fade away in her overwhelming brightness. For a split second, Michael wished that he was attracted to girls, because he would marry this girl on the spot. But he was chill with her being one of his best friends, and anyways, unlike what Jeremy thinks, best friends can’t break up with you.

Michael slid into place besides the sitting, still giggling Jeremy, and the two grinned at each other. “Michael!” He cried out between giggles as Christine started the ipod,

Michael recognized the synthesized beat and went into with gusto, “Jeremy my buddy how’s it hanging? Lunch is banging! Got my sushi got my slushie and more!” He spun, took a sip and offered a bit to Jeremy during the three beats, who shook his head, and continued, “The roll is mega maki and I’m feeling kinda cocky ‘cause the girl at seven eleven gave me a generous pour!” He couldn’t wait to be able to get this on a full ensemble.

Christine and Michael turned to Jeremy, whom while delighted at the playing around, cocked his head in confusion. Christine stopped the beat. 

“Jeremy, I know you can sing, it’s your turn.”

Confusion colored his voice, “Turn? To do what?”

Christine looked between Michael and Jeremy. Her hand flew up to cover her mouth as she gasped, “Oh my god. Michael I’m so sorry. Jeremy, you’ve never heard of Be More Chill?”

Jeremy swiveled his head and Michael uncomfortably sucked on his slurpie noisily, “Be More what? No, why should I have? I’m kind of behind on musicals, Christine, you know this.”

Christine raised an eyebrow at Michael and he put the slurpie down, “Jeremy… I wrote a musical about the Squip. Which incidentally… involves you. Actually a lot of you. Actually you’re the main character.”


	18. Get Some Sleep!

Jeremy raised an eyebrow, “Right. My Michael Mell wrote a musical about me. Do people fall asleep halfway through, learning about my stunning life of trying to beat a level for seven hours straight?” He laughed into his palm, turning to Christine, “What, you can’t seriously be going along with this?” Seeing their stony faces, his laughter died out slowly, “You’re serious? You guys are serious. Michael! We’re going to Pace soon! Your dream school! You can’t throw that away! Think about what this will do to you, to me! Whether it’s a success or a flop once it’s out there it could seriously affect our future!”

Jeremy was getting more distressed by the second and Michael’s heart was sinking faster, he wasn’t taking it well. He knew it. But with the ache of rejection so close, he couldn’t help but retort with venom, “That’s why I’m doing this Jeremy! To get into Pace! You think that they want someone perfectly average with nothing exceptional about them? Sorry I didn’t have a super computer installed in my brain to help me ace my SATs! _Nobody wants me!_ ”

At Christine’s soft gasp, Michael figured that he said too much, showed too much, and reigned himself in. Bundling all of his anger and frustration and dejection and stuffing it inside himself, burying it deep, nestling it between his ribcage, where he could feel it beating steadily.

Michael looked up and summoned a small smile, taking a deep breath, “I’m fine. I know that you didn’t mean for the whole Squipcident to occur. Not your fault, I’m just a little tired, so I guess I’m on edge.”

He had to make Jeremy see that he didn’t mean it to blame him. Jeremy was already shifting and Michael couldn’t let him leave. Not again.

So when Jeremy shifted and took a step forward, closer to Michael, not bolting, he could only watch in clouded confusion, as the boy took one step then another.

Jeremy gripped Michael’s shoulders tightly, grounding him, looking into his eyes, searching for something. Michael’s smile gently fell off, leaving him looking perplexed and a bit flushed from Jeremy’s proximity.

His boy said, breathes of air dancing across Michael’s lips, “I want you. Jake wants you. Christine wants you. Brooke wants you. Everyone loves you, and you have to let us love you, not keep running.”

Jeremy melted forward, melting his body to Michael’s as he inclined his head that fatal inch and they were kissing again. It was devoid of the passion of before, soft and slow and deliberate. Moving as if Jeremy was trying to prove something to Michael. Just as Michael started to reciprocate he pulled away, “I’m not okay with what you wrote, I feel like it’s an invasion of privacy, and we will need to talk about that. But I’m okay with you, and if you wrote it, it must be brilliant. And I’m okay with that.”

Michael leaned his forehead against Jeremy’s, “Okay.”

A teasing smile now, Jeremy nudged Michael, “Okay.”

 

 

Jeremy and Michael left the building hand in hand, Christine letting them off with nothing more than shouting, “Use protection!” at them, causing Jeremy to have a near meltdown in the foyer of the school. Michael just laughed and tugged him along towards the car. Once the two were situated, and seatbelted, Michael set off, following the instructions relayed by his GPS.

“Um Michael?”

Michael hummed, not taking his eyes off of the road, “Yeah buddy?”

“Why do you need a GPS to get to your house?”

Michael had to laugh at the confusion coloring his tone, “Not going to my house. Going to Jake’s. I’ve never driven there myself before.”

“WHAt!” Jeremy suddenly grasped his arm, causing Michael to swerve.

“Holy Pac-man!” He regained control of the car, looking at Jeremy’s wild eyes, “I thought you liked Jake!”

“I do! -ish! We can’t just show up uninvited! That’s hella rude!”

“I can do whatever I want!”

Jeremy fell silent and Michael could feel his eyes searching his face, and just knew that he would focus on the dark bruises forming underneath Michael’s eyes. Quietly, “When was the last time you slept?”

Michael thought, “Two days ago? Maybe? Shits been going down. Haven’t had the time.”

Jeremy loudly inhaled, ad Michael could hear him adjusting the seatbelt, “Is it safe for you to be driving?”

Michael pulled into the driveway and parked the car, popping out, “Nope!”

The two piled out of the car and loped up to the grand front door of the Dillanger household. Michael banged on the door as Jeremy hid behind him. Michael was a man on a mission. “Jake fuckin’ Dillanger! Open this door! It’s the coppers!”

On his fifth bang, the door swung open to reveal a shirtless Jake, pajama pants slung low on his hips, hair mussed beyond belief. Jeremy’s mouth hung open, staring at the pecs on display, while Michael tilted his head, “Dude. It’s like five o clock. No judging though.”

Michael strode past Jake into the house and he could hear Jeremy badly whisper to Jake, “He’s a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, let him ride it out.”

He spun around, directly beneath the sparkling chandelier, daring it to fall, pointing to Jeremy, “You! We need to improve your espionage skills! They’re garbage.” Pointing the accusing finger at Jake, “And you! Your brilliant idea! You figure it out.” Michael plopped himself on the stairs, making evident his desire to not move.

Jake scratched the back of his head, “Um, what?”

“Polyamorous. How does it work?”


	19. The Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I stopped writing for a while because I met the boi George and Joe, and the gurl Lauren, but man did that bootleg kick me back into gear hard. Now I have motivation to update all of my stories.

Jake flushed a brilliant red, crossing his arms defensively, “Well typically with communication, which we’re working on, right now actually. Otherwise we’re all pretty bad at the communication thing. And polymory is when you date more than one person—”

Michael smiled softly, “I can google things Jake. I mean, how does it work with us. What were you two thinking, because I’m pretty out of the loop.”

Jake glanced at Jeremy, who nodded slightly, and then Jake started out slowly, “Well. It could be as easy as you dating me and dating Jeremy. Or, we could all… date. And everyone would have two boyfriends.”

Michael eyed Jeremy through Jake’s proposal and finally snapped, snorting he waved his hand, “Jake that sounds lovely, and we all need to have an input, but right now, you need to put a shirt on. We need three fully functioning partners, and right now, Jeremy’s brain is shorting out.”

The two of them turned to stare at Jeremy, who being caught started spluttering denials, though his eyes still glued to the upper half of Jake really didn’t help his case.

Jake grinned, sharp teethed and devious, “Hey Jeremy, come help me pick out a shirt, I have a question for you. Michael stay here.”

Michael leaned back on the stairs, pouting as his boys disappeared above him. He didn’t care that they were leaving him out again, not at all. And really, these stairs were quite uncomfortable, but there was something about the plush carpeting covering them, that just, made them, …

 

“Michael? Michael, we know you need sleep, but maybe not on the stairs? You’re gonna need a chiropractor.”

He mumbled out, “Can’t afford one, fuck off.”

A hand slapped his gently and Michael jumped up, enthusiastically completely the secret handshake and finishing it off with a mutual foot tap through pure muscle memory. Michael stared at Jeremy through glassy eyes, “One, unnecessary,” He hiccupped, “Two. Y-you remembered!”

A flushed Jeremy, now with suspiciously tousled hair and askew shirt, rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, before pausing and indignantly shooting back, “It’s our thing! Of course I remember! We do it all. The.. time.” Jeremy stared at Michael shell shocked, the words barely being a puff of air ghosting past his lips, “We haven’t done it since the Squip have we?”

Jake watched the two try not to cry in front of each other and Michael remembered himself, “R-right. So what did you guys talk about?”

Jake huffed, dramatically needling Jeremy, “Well I _guess_ I don’t mind dating Jeremy. And he really likes our hot bods I guess, horny tall ass, so we’ve come to an agreement.”

Michael raised an eyebrow, discreetly wiping a lone tear with his sleeve, “What kind of agreement?”

Jeremy and Jake looked at each other and chimed in unison, “We’re taking you to homecoming!”

“One, creepy, don’t do that again. Two, yes!”

Michael jumped onto Jake, kissing him firmly before turning to Jeremy and sofly pecking him. He turned away and fist pumped the air, “Haha! Finally going to a dance!”

He turned to the frozen duo, “What? We are dating right?” he asked with a playful smile.

Jake grinned, “Yeah. Yes we are. You should get naps more often, I like this you.”

Jeremy hugged Michael tightly, “This used to be him all the time. I think we stressed him out recently.”


End file.
